Surgery

My sweet Ella Rose had surgery this Thursday.  Ever since she was a tiny little thing she has had issues with her ears.  She got her first round of tubes at 9 months...the earliest the ENT would allow it.   All of my kids, except for Sawyer, have been through this. And just like the others...I assumed that Ella would be fine after that first set of tubes. Boy was I wrong...

About a month ago we were at her ENT's office for a regular follow up to check on her tubes.  Tubes usually last about 1-2 years and Ella was right at that point. Her doctor took one look in her ears and told me they were horribly infected and that the tubes were gone so she would need surgery for another round of tubes and this time an adenoidectomy as well, requiring general anesthesia.  The surgery itself didnt bother me, but I felt terrible that I had no idea she had this infection.  She never had a fever...never complained...never had any issues that would give me a clue that she was in pain.  I still felt terrible because I felt like as her mother I just should have known.

The doctor gave her an antibiotic but of course...like all my kids...she couldnt handle it. We were up all night while she projectile vomited over and over after just two doses. So...the plan was just to stop the antibiotic and wait for surgery.

So this Thursday at 0600 we showed up at the Carmel Surgery Center for hopefully her last surgery.

Silly girl showing off her fancy hospital bracelet

Not sure about Jason's face here...but Ella looks cute

Right before they wheeled her away

She was so brave. She let the nurse roll her away and didnt shed a single tear. I however cried silently to myself. I was worried about her being intubated...being under general anesthesia...and just typical mommy worries of if she was scared or wondered where we went.

The surgery last a whole 30 minutes but felt much longer.  We got taken to the consult room and Dr. Ball met with us to tell us the surgery went great. BUT...she noticed during the intubation that Ella has what she called velopharyngeal insufficiency. Basically Ella has a small cleft palate and a biforcated uvula.  She has had this since birth but it was never diagnosed.  This sounds much worse than it is...but I was frustrated because I knew something was wrong and no one listened to me.

When she was born every time she ate, her formula would come out her nose.  And she never could figure out how to breastfeed...she would make this really bizarre clicking noise with her tongue when she did eat.   I asked her pediatrician over and over about her constantly having formula come out her nose...but was reassured that was okay.

She is okay...but I knew there was a bigger issue going on and no one listened.  The worst thing this velopharyngeal insufficiency can do is cause a speech impediment.  If this happens she will need a consult with a plastic surgeon to fix it. This actually was the good news...

The bad news...My baby girls poor ears are so messed up.  The doctor called her ear wax glue. Her old tubes were actually in but had been sealed off and blocked by this glue.  Great...

The doctor said that her tympanic membrane was collapsed inward and that the infection was so bad there is a risk for permanent hearing loss. And she will definately need another...so a third round of tubes after this second round falls out.

Ella in recovery before she woke up

I just feel so bad because I feel like I should have known sooner that she had this massive infection.  If she has permanent hearing loss I cant help but feel that it is partially my fault.  As a mom you never want your kids to be in pain. Her doctor said that she doesnt show signs of pain because this pain is a baseline she has felt her entire life.  I mean seriously??? Talk about a shot in the heart. My baby has been in pain her whole life and acts like she's not because its all she's ever known? That makes me so sad.

But she is a tough little cookie. Here she is dancing her little heart out only a few hours after coming home from the surgery.

Dont mind the lack of clothes...my kids hate wearing clothes at home
This is apparently a Pfeffer thing :)

She dances through her pain.  What a beautiful example she is to me. We all have pain...and trials...But how often do we really take the time to see how good we really have it despite the pain? No matter what we may be going through there is always a reason to be grateful...happy...and just let loose and dance.