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| tired...big...and still so long to go |
I am 20lbs bigger
My hips and back hurt me almost all the time to the point where I cant sleep
My ankles look like pockets of fluid are being stored in them
My nursing bras that fit so nice with Layla are tight and uncomfortable
The baby is head down...awesome :)...but I get nice sharp shooting pains in my groin now
I pee....all the time....especially at night....at least 4 times
I am in a constant state of tired that ranges from sleepy to near exhaustion
I cry...a lot....for no reason
Finally...I am almost 33 weeks....I have 7 more weeks of this and the baby is going to keep getting bigger....
Im crying again now....
I have days where it seems like its so soon and Ill be holding baby Ella in my arms. And then I have days where that 7 weeks feels like an eternity. I almost wish for an ordered bedrest from my doctor, but I want to be healthy too and bedrest=something is wrong. I know this will all pass and I will forget how hard all this is....obviously I forget or I wouldnt be doing this for a THIRD time. But in the moment right now it is really really hard. All the things that I do have become 10 times harder and take 10 times the effort. I am determined to keep up with my life though even if I feel like Im moving in slow motion these days. But come Sunday evening when the day is winding down, I literally find myself getting anxiety about all I have to do the next week.
So...imagine my surprise today when I came home after church and dinner at my moms to a completely clean house...all laundry done...everything scrubbed to perfection. I cried...and cried...and cried. Jason told me this morning when we were leaving for church that he had just gotten a call to a house with no power in Columbus, IN. It is the nature of the job so I sighed and took the kids to church. I was so tired by the time we headed home that I wanted to go to sleep for the night right then and there at 530pm. So when I walked into the house and my weeks worth of chores aside from groceries were done....I cant describe what I felt. No man is perfect...but my gosh I cant describe how much what Jason did means to me. Its better than flowers...candy...any date.....Its the best gift he could have given me. I get to RELAX and enjoy this week with my kids without the burdens of trying to clean the house and do laundry. I wish he could feel what I felt when I walked into the door because I cant thank him enough. He gave me more than a clean house. He has given me a week off. He has given me the ability to breathe...and relax. A massive weight lifted even if its just for one week.
Pregnancy the last month and a half is horrible...exhausting...uncomfortable. It just wears you down. For him to realize how tired I am and do something like this...its better than 1000 I love you's. Actions speak so much louder than words. I am so lucky to have such a supportive loving husband. I got myself one of the few good ones and Ill hold on to him for as long as I live.
On a lighter note...Jack got really confused when I was pretty much bawling. He said...Daddy whats wrong with mommy?? Jason told him I wasnt sad, I was just so happy because he had cleaned the house for me and sometimes girls cry when they are happy. He said...NO Daddy...mommy wanted to clean the house and THATS why she's crying.
Oh my sweet boy lol...how wrong you were.
