12 weeks down...28 to go

I have officially hit 12 weeks pregnant. My doctor told me this week is the safe zone. My chances of having another miscarriage have apparently dropped significantly. Now I just have to worry about heart and neural tube defects until we get our ultrasound on March 26th. Aww the joys of the paranoia that I am blessed with because of my job.  Seriously though...I am really really happy to have hit this milestone in this pregnancy.  The heart beat was loud and clear immediately after she put the doppler on my stomach...she didnt even have to look for the baby. That was incredibly reassuring.  And I am starting to show a bit nowadays.

To me this feels huge for twelve weeks...especially since I took this over a week ago

 I guess when this is your third pregnancy your body just decides to show a lot sooner. I just wish the slightly pudgy look would pass quickly so I can look pregnant.  Right now I feel bloated and fat.  Amazingly though I have gained no weight...at all.  I guess thats what happens when you are chasing a 3 and 1 year old around all day everyday. Jackson insists this baby is a boy and Jason wont even discuss girl names. Hope my boys arent disappointed...Im just praying for healthy.

My moods are crazy. I can have one day that is amazing...where I feel good and I have energy and I am happy with my life. Then the next day I wake up and I feel like my life is out of control, my temper is short, and I feel on the edge of insanity as I try to muddle through my day. And I cry constantly...about stupid stupid stuff. I hate those days because then I lay in bed feeling guilty for being a crappy mom.  Hormones suck.  But I tell myself constantly...this will pass and it will be all worth it in the end. Losing the baby in September has really helped me keep my perspective on the blessing this really is. So...I can deal with my borderline personality and nausea and exhaustion because I have a clear picture of the end result.

The one thing I am starting to freak out about is time. I feel like we have so much to do before this baby arrives.  We need bunk beds...a new infant carseat...a crap ton of baby stuff to buy because stupid me gave it away. We need to organize bedrooms and get rid of stuff. Jason and I have vacations to plan and pay for...a van to buy...I need some fat clothes aka maternity clothes....I mean I could go on and on.  I know we will get it all done. But its kind of like the beginning of a semester at school. You get that syllbus and look at all the work you have to accomplish in the next few months and freak out...at least I did. But....it gets done.  I really really need to relax.  Thank God Jason and I are going on a babymoon soon. We are taking a mini cruise to the Bahamas. And despite my irrational fear of being surrounded by nothing but water...I think we will have fun.

So...heres to welcoming in the second trimester! I remember this part being a bit more easy going than that awful first trimester. Kind of like a relief period before the real hell of the third trimester starts.  And heres to hoping that my pregnancy related mood disorder passes soon. I have inhaled a massive amount of chocolate in the last few mintutes as I type this trying to ease the pains of an exceptionally bad day.

this took me less then five min to eat...I need an intervention

 If this continues I might look like a beached white whale on our cruise...YIKES...not a pretty picture. 

sexy huh?