Huge blessing with a side of anxiety and nerves

Im really torn right now. Part of me is so excited and aching to share the news that Ive known since December 9th. But another part of me is so nervous and afraid because of what happened to us in September.  Im really terrible at keeping secrets....especially happy ones...sooo....with a lot of nervous reservations I just wanted to announce to everyone that Jason and I have been blessed with another baby.  We found out we were expecting on December 9th...two months after my D&C.  One thing can be said for the pair of us....we definately dont have any issues getting pregnant...its the staying pregnant part that is tricky.

I was nervous instantly and have been kind of a nervous mess the last 8 weeks.  The feelings are still pretty fresh from our loss in September and I know Im not ready to go through that again. But, everything feels different this time around. For one thing I am sick. This is a first for me. I never got sick with any of my other pregnancies. Apparently this is a good sign that my hormone levels are nice and raging. Also this time around when we got our ultrasound the baby measured exactly how big it should. Last time when we got the 8 week ultrasound it only measured 7 weeks.  

The ultrasound showed a healthy 8 week and 5 day fetus with a loud regular heart beat of 167 and it was moving all over the place. :) That has to be a good sign right?  Id like to say seeing my little bean floating around in there with a nice strong heart beat would be reassuring. But...we had a healthy ultrasound before...and lost the baby between that ultrasound and our next appointment. So...as happy as I am...I am extremely nervous too.  So please...anyone who reads this....say a little prayer for us. We are so happy that we get this blessing in our lives again.  I know many people struggle just to conceive.  I know we are lucky. Im just scared. 

So here we go starting this adventure again.  Last time I wrote that I wanted an easy pregnancy with minimal weight gain and no stretch marks. This time...I just want a health baby. So bring on the pounds and stretch marks. I just want to hold my baby in my arms in August. 

heres my little bean...I keep dreaming of boys...guess we'll find out in a few months