Layla

So Im finally getting time to myself to sit and write thanks to my wonderful husband. He has worked 30 hours the last two days but still he comes home and tells me to sit down and relax while he does the dinner dishes and takes care of the kids. Either I look completely worn down and exhausted or he's just amazing....Im going to say both. I love him so much.

Anyway...on to the story of my second little miracle baby. I say miracle because unfortunately Ive suffered miscarriages in the past so every live healthy birth to me is a miracle. Also...where I work makes me really appreciate the health of my children.  

Jason and I had only been married a few months but decided to go ahead and try for a baby. I didnt want there to be a big age difference between Jackson and any child Jason and I had. I figured it would take at least a few months. Boy was I wrong.  I had just finished my last official round of birth control pills and was waiting for my period to start.  It was the year of the swine flu. I heard about it on the news, online, at work...everywhere. It was a weekend and I felt awful....high fever, achy muscles and then my neck got so stiff I couldnt move it.  I freaked....and went to the ER assuming that I for sure had the swine flu.  The nurse asked me if I was pregnant and I told her no that I just barely stopped taking my pills this month.  She decided to have me take a test anyway and sure enough...it was positive. I was shocked! Because I was also sick they hooked me up to an IV to give me some fluid. Well the nurse starting my IV got blood  everywhere. Jason comes walking in and Im wearing a mask, in a hospital gown, with blood everywhere. His facial expression was priceless. I think he thought I was dying from the look on his face.  Then before he can talk the doctor comes in with the results of my blood test saying Congratulations! with a huge smile on her face. Jason then got very very confused. When he realized what was going on he just laughed. We were both so shocked and it was just a crazy experience. Most expensive pregnancy test ever.

The pregnancy with Layla was even easier than Jacksons...up until the last trimester. I never got nauseous and I never threw up.  But starting about 36 weeks I started to swell....and it wasnt your normal mild fluid retention that most pregnant women get. My legs looked like massive tree trunks up to my knees. By the end of the day I had pitting edema that never went away.  I couldnt wear any shoes and forget my wedding ring. Then one Sunday afternoon I was laying on my moms couch and I fell asleep. When I woke up everyone sounded very far away when they were talking.  I looked up and I couldnt see. When I stared at someone all I saw was half of their face.  Then I noticed my entire left side of my body was numb from my face all the way down to my toes. At this point Im starting to freak out a bit.  I called to Jason and tried to ask him to get me water but  I couldnt say the word water. It was so frustrating. I could think it all I wanted but the words wouldnt come out.  Jason wanted to take me to the ER but stubborn me said I just wanted to sleep it off and Ill be better tomorrow. Well...I was right...I did feel better but I was more swollen than ever.

this was before the swelling so just picture me this huge everywhere...not just belly

I went in to my 37 week appointment excited to be told I was dilated and had high hopes that they would direct me straight to labor and delivery. I felt miserable. So I go in and they tell me the worst...I was completely closed...not dilated at all....baby girl was laying transverse and there was protein in my pee.  I bawled.  They were talking scheduling a version and induction and if that didnt work a c-section.  I left that appointment so defeated and miserable.  Then that night I had another horrible headache episode. We called my doctor and she ordered a 24 hour urine. She was skeptical because my blood pressure always stayed in the 90s and typically if I you are preeclamptic your blood pressure spikes.  I didnt even make it home after I turned that bucket of pee in before she called telling me to go on strict bedrest until they could induce me three days later.  I was so happy. I felt so so so so sick that all I wanted was to get her out.  My doctor was shocked at the level of protein in my pee.  Thank God for that 24 hour urine test.

I went in to be induced at 5am on Friday May 28th, 2010.  I was so excited I literally didnt sleep the night before.  I got all hooked up and ready to go and was pleasantly surprised to find out that I was already dilated to a three.

Early early in the morning ready to get started

this was after they broke my water...the lack of sleep is wearing on me

Right before time to push

 At 8am they broke my water and I got my epidural and then at 1pm my baby girl was born in just four rounds of pushing.  Fast...and painless....just the way I like it. She was a perfect 7lbs 10oz and 21.5inches long.

perfect and pink

 I held her in my arms and said her name and Ill never forget how she looked right up into my eyes.  There is something so special about those first few moments that only a mother can understand.  All the waiting and pain and frustration is forgotten in that sweet moment in time. 

my sweet baby girl

Layla was and is a wonderful baby. She only cries when she wants something but she for sure lets her opinion known. She is fiesty and funny and beautiful. I see so much of her dad in her.  I love her so much. Its amazing how much you love your children. Its almost painful. I look at her and I want to give her the world but protect her from it at the same time. Being a mother is one of the most rewarding, but hard and scary things Ive ever done and will ever do in my life. Ive been given the gift to raise this beautiful little girl with so much spunk and personality. Her fearlessness scares me so much. I hope with all my heart I can teach her to be everything she needs to while allowing her to be herself.  She is everything Ive ever dreamed my little girl would be. Her daddy and I are so blessed.

my sweet hubby and our baby girl