Jackson

I woke up from a decent sleep the other day with this panicked feeling that I need to start writing things down. You may think....you are....you started this blog. Well it was more the feeling that I need to write down important events like the birth of my children and my wedding while I still have solid details of those things in my mind so that later when my mind might not be so quick to remember I can go back and read about it.  So right now as all my babies are sleeping I am going to begin these series of posts starting with Jackson.

Jack was a very wanted baby.  I always knew growing up that I wanted children. I got married to Jack's dad in 2002. I was barely 20 years old and still in school and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was in love with the idea of marriage and love. Our relationship was hard from the beginning. I  dont want to go into details but it took us a long time to feel comfortable to start trying for a family.  In 2006 we decided to go ahead and try. I found out I was pregnant in January. Unfortunately I lost that baby.  But I was lucky and found out I was pregnant again in June 2007.  

Im close to 6months pregnant here and remember thinking I was so huge

My pregnancy with Jackson was easy.  I only threw up twice and both times were my fault.  I drank orange juice without eating both times. Dumb dumb dumb.  My only complaint throughout it all was the massive heartburn I got all nine months. Thank goodness that went away after he was born.  I loved feeling him move inside me.  I would lay in bed and just watch and feel him move around....it made me so happy.  Naturally I was anxious to meet him and by the third trimester done and ready to get him out. 

I was 37 weeks 3 days and one week away from finishing working until the baby came.  I worked full time night shift which was almost unbearable.  I was huge and awkard and so tired.  I went into my Thursday night shift and got started. Around 11pm I was walking to my patients room when someone walked past me going pretty fast and bumped into me as I went by.  I very dramatically...and very ungracefully....fell to the floor. I remember in my head thinking OMG this is so embarrassing please please please at least let me be able to get up.  It wasnt pretty....I took a few unbalanced steps on my way down, hit my knees, and then smacked my hands loudly on the floor drawing attention from everyone. This very eloquent man yelled...Hey that big pregnant lady just fell! Thank you sir...I dont think anyone noticed......

My charge nurse wanted to send me home but I was too embarrassed and too stubborn so I refused and said I was fine. And really besides my knees being bruised up I felt fine....just embarrassed.  So I worked out my shift and got home around 830am.  I was all tucked in and getting ready to sleep when I noticed I was contracting and they hurt so I timed them....four minutes apart. Again...stubborn me convinced myself that I would be fine until my appointment later that day so I went to sleep.  At around 11 I woke up feeling like I was peeing the bed. SERIOUSY??? PEEING THE BED?? Thats what I was thinking at the time. So I fling my huge body off the bed and as soon as I stand up.....WHOOSH...my water broke...everywhere. Now my doctor had just told me that only 10% of womens water break naturally and to expect a light trickle. Man was I cursing her in my head as I sat in the bathroom unable to get off the toilet because water kept gushing out. I had the illogical thought that Jack was going to die because there couldnt possible be any more amniotic fluid left. So I jumped up...grabbed one of his newborn diapers (its all I had)...and called my mom. She was closer than Nate at the time.

Just getting comfy at the hospital....nice bangs huh?

A long story made just a tiny bit shorter...I got to the hospital around noon and walked and walked and walked only being dilated to a 1.  So...at 11pm they started pitocin and gave me an epidural and prepped me for the possibility of a c-section since I was still only a 1.  I went to sleep and at 1am woke up feeling all kinds of pressure. Me not knowing what giving birth felt like called the nurse to complain about my foley catheter that they had anchored.  She gasped and said I was at 10cm and to not push because Jack was pretty much crowning.  The doc came in...I pushed maybe 4 times and he was born...perfect....pink...all ten toes and fingers.

On February 29, 2008 my little boy came screaming into the world weighing 6lbs 7oz and 19.5 inches long. I fell in love with him the second I looked into his blue eyes.

That little baby gave me strength to get through some very rough times in my life that were short to come after he was born. I truly believe that I wouldnt have made it through had I not had him to live for.  He is everything I could ever want in a little boy. He is smart, inquisitive, sweet natured and always wants to try to do good things.  He's not perfect...what toddler is? But he is pretty close in my book.  I thank God everyday for him and pray that He will guide me to raise him to reach his full potential in this life. 

So handsome